Call and Come

I used to be sort of - invincible, when it came to coffee time crap-talk in office. But the trend has changed, and these guys thrash the hell out of me these days. Most of it is due to the fact that they gather up, and use all their might to corner me! When you look into it, they are all making mountain out of molehills. Their jokes may be laughed at by kids who are still in the fourth or fifth grade. What? You do not believe me? Okay, check it out for yourself.

Yesterday, these guys planned to go on a ride after office hours, and asked me to come along.

Me: Dude, I can not join you guys today. I have come in my dad’s car.

One of the guys: What Ashwin? You have come in your dad’s car?!

And they all burst out laughing! In fact, one of the guys was laughing on this for a good solid twenty minutes! Alright, I get the joke, but is it really worth twenty minutes of laughter?!

Anyway, now coming to what happened this evening. This guy was about to leave office, and he asked me if I was going to join him.

Me: No dude, I have to attend a conference call at 7:00.

He: You have become a call-guy, Ashwin!

The moment he said this, and these guys burst into laughter, like it was the funniest thing they ever heard in their entire lives! One of the guys was even banging his desk with joy! (Pun, unintended!) Ah, you should have witnessed the madness! People sitting some sixty feet across came by and enquired about the reason for the outrageous laughter!

Do these guys need to grow up, or do they need to really grow up? And does anyone know how much does ‘Jokes for Dummies’ cost?!

Girls and Devils

I am still wondering what should be the apt title for this post. Anyway, for the moment let me just get this thing done with.

Here is a picture of a van, with a bumper-sticker - if you can call it that! I apologise for the bad quality of the picture; but you must know that I had to click the photograph while I was riding my bike, after first having had to get the phone out of my pocket, and also keeping in pace with the van!

Okay, enough crap-talk! Here is the picture! Do click on it, in case you want to see a larger image.

Poor dude has a liking for apostrophes, I suppose. And certainly he has got his numbers wrong! Also, I think he must have offended the devil!

Two Hundred Twenty

Yippee!

Firstly – congratulate me!

Why, you ask me?

Well, I got myself a Pulsar 220 DTS-i, and I have not stopped smiling ever since!

Of course, I ought to keep the engine revving under four thousand revolutions a minute for the first thousand kilometres; but in spite of it – I could get the bike up to speeds, quick enough to have had a few mosquitoes splatter up on my helmet visor!

Wow! It feels better than being in love! And I just can not wait to get through these initial kilometres and see how flying feels like!

Don’t Tell Anybody!

I realised that it has been quite a while since I wrote anything about this guy, who at one time used to be my biggest source of motivation, when it came to blogging. Um, when you think about it, he actually was more like the subject itself, rather than motivation! Anyway, I get a chance to dedicate a blog post to him – once again!

He called me up a last night and made me listen to ‘Show Me How To Live’; like he had done during the previous two times. And quite frankly, I guess it would be boring to blog about it now again. But he being him, I am never short of things to write! So, here it goes!

Scene I

This one day I went to his place – and he was all excited about something!

He: You know what?!

Me: What?

He: Windows 7 has got a scientific calculator!

Me: Dude! Even Windows 95 has got a scientific calculator!

He: Oh?! Don’t tell anybody!

Scene II

I was playing a game of chess with him once and the game had come to quite an interesting situation. At this stage, he did something that so incredibly stupid, that I had to yell at him!

Me: Dude, you can not do that!

He: And why not?!

Me: You can not cancel your pawn with your own pawn!

He: Oh?! Don’t tell anybody!

Shut-Up!

A lot of people ask me to ‘shut-up’ these days. A majority of these are guys whom I have known for quite sometime, but lately, this syndrome has caught up even to people who have just about gotten to know me!

This one day, I was having a conversation with this girl, whom I had just gotten to know. After a bit of technical blah, our discussion switched over to something more, uh, discussion-worthy! Anyway, here is the part of the conversation, which matters.

She: You don’t talk much, huh?

Me: (Is she serious?!) Ah, at times I do. But you know, a lot of people ask me to shut-up, so I am trying to keep it a bit down!

She: Oh? I would never ask you to shut-up!

Me: Thanks! Let’s see!

Anyway, we were discussing about sports and stuff like it for a couple of minutes, and then, it came to this.

She: Let me guess, you play basketball.

Me: I used to; I don’t play any more though.

She: I used to play too, I love that sport!

Me: Oh, cool!

She: You said it.

Me: Yeah, but of course, there are a few irritating things about playing basketball.

She: Like?

Me: Just imagine, while you are playing - you are sweating like a race-horse, and you are rubbing against other sweaty guys who are falling all over you fighting for the ball. And then, not only are you covered in your own sweat, but the entire opponent team’s sweat too! Now, how gross is that?!

She: Ashwin, please - SHUT-UP!

See?!