What smells?!

The last time I went to Mysore, I had to take a bus. The company I had for the journey was pathetic! And since the journey was to be a short one, I did not carry any book that I could read. There was nothing much to look outside the window, and there was a dumb movie being played at full volume in the bus, which I did not want to watch.

So, considering all these factors I thought it would be wise for me to catch up on some sleep. Actually, I did not have any other option at that time. Anyway, after a while I was woken up by a disgusting smell! Still not fully out of sleep, I was wondering to myself as to why the air conditioner smelt like soiled socks?!

It took me about ten seconds to realise that the source of the smell was not the air conditioner! Yuck! You can only imagine how the rest of the journey was!

Strange Strangers!

Now what should one do, when a stranger (you have known for almost two years!) suddenly gets all concerned about your well being? Especially when our earlier conversations have been limited to just some random and impassive ‘hi’ and ‘bye’!

Am I to feel blessed, that even strangers care for me now?

Or am I to get sceptical about what their ulterior intentions are?

Any answers?!

Summer of ‘09

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the local store
Played it till my fingers bled
It was summer of '09

Well, it is not summer yet, and nor are my fingers bleeding! But yes, I bought my first guitar on Sunday! Of course, with my dad and brother helping me pick the right one! I am so in love with it! I have not stopped smiling ever since I bought it! I honestly can not remember the last time I was this ecstatic!

Well, I still can not play it all that well, but it is only a matter of time! One thing is for sure, this guitar sounds sweet! Well, here is a picture of it! Doesn’t it look cool?!

Exclamation Mark!

We guys in office always come up with some creative thing or the other to keep ourselves amused at work! We discuss about almost everything under the sun. At times the topic we choose could be quite informative, such as mythology, chemistry or astronomy. But then, sometimes we also discuss about the final segment of the digestive system and the gasses emitting from the same!

Anyway, the other day topic chosen was ‘crap’. Crap as in literally – crap! As in faeces! Well, here is the most interesting part of our conversation!

Person 1: I remember when I was small and there was a kid who lived near by. One day he called me outside to show me that he had shat on the road to make it look like a train! There were small dots in a line!

Person 2: Oh, that is nothing! I remember when I was small, there was this kid, who once had shat on the road, and he had made it look like an exclamation mark!

Rewind!

Isn’t it funny, when at times you just want to complete some stuff, but then something or the other comes up, and you never get to finish it?

So, here I was in office listening to music on my cell phone. Just for your information, I am more productive while listening to rock music! In fact, I used to study for my exams while listening to music! Anyway, so this song starts playing, and I am like totally lost in it.

The selfish, they’re all standing in line
Faith-ing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind

At this perfect time, some dude decides to give me a call! Argh! Anyway, I answer the call (cursing him under my breath!), and replay the song from the start.

The selfish, they’re all standing in line
Faith-ing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind

Guess what? Another call! Damn! Replay, once again!

The selfish, they’re all standing in line
Faith-ing and hoping to buy themselves time

Now this time, it was a reminder popping up on the cell phone! So, replay once again!

The selfish, they’re all standing in line
Faith-ing and hoping to buy themselves time

This time, the guy sitting next to me wanted to know something! Yeah, replay again!

The selfish, they’re all standing in line

Then, a guy who I had not met in a while shows up at my seat! Had to stop the song to exchange pleasantries! Yeah, you guessed it, replay!

The selfish, they’re all standing in line
Faith-ing and hoping to buy themselves time

Believe it or not, I answered six more calls in between replaying the song! In the end, I got so frustrated that I simply switched off my phone! I did not want to listen to it now!

Fat Chance!

This morning in office, I was (forced into!) filling in the application form to obtain a visa, that would permit me to go work in the United States. And for information sake, I am one of those boring guys who actually read all the instructions, before filling up any form! And why am I sharing this little piece of information, you ask? Well, I found something very amusing in that stupid form that I wanted to share with you guys! Just check this thing out! I promise I have not made this up, and it was actually there in that stupid form!

Do you seek to enter the United States to engage in export control violations, subversive or terrorist activities, or any other unlawful purpose? Are you a member or representative of a terrorist organization as currently designated by the United States Secretary of State? Have you ever participated in persecutions directed by the Nazi government of Germany; or have you ever participated in genocide?

Yes
No

Now let us say that a terrorist is indeed filling in this form. So, does the Secretary of State of the United States actually expect this twisted dude to be honest and check the box against the ‘yes’?!

Fat chance!

Being Chris!

As far as I can remember, I have always been inspired by rock and rock stars! And there have been a number of times when I have seriously considered being a rock star! But unfortunately, due to my laziness and absolute lack of direction, I have ended up being an engineer!

Over the years there have been several bands and singers that I have religiously followed and worshipped! Probably the longest one I have worshipped was Pink Floyd! And then one day, I heard Audioslave! I am sure most of them do not even recognise this band. In any case, these guys never came close to Pink Floyd, and they never will either! (That is because they have split up now!)

Anyway, the most prominent member of the band was the lead singer and lyricist, Chris Cornell. (Now if you do not recognise him, you might as well stop reading this stuff and go ahead and do whatever it is that you were doing!) He writes amazing intellectual stuff, and the music is simply phenomenal! And add to this, is his voice! I have many times tried to sing like him, but I usually end up coughing, and thus, have had to stop! Now, I did want to be like Chris in more ways than just having a goatee like his!

So, it was about three weeks ago when I was listening to ‘Original Fire’ that I had this thought! Well, I definitely can not sing like him, but at least I could play the guitar like him! And so, I have joined guitar classes! Six months down the line, I am going to be playing the guitar, and singing ‘Original Fire’ like Chris does! On a more serious note, I hope to at least play the guitar as well as he does!

Indispensable!

We guys were returning to office after lunch today, while one of my friends decided to educate us about how very essential his contribution was to the organisation! At the end of all the blah, he said this.

He: I have become a core member in the CMMI process. I am indispensable!

Me: Dude, you know what? You are as dispensable as your shit! See, you take a crap, you flush, and it is gone!

He had to wait more than a minute before responding, because none of us would have heard him over our uncontrollable laughter! Had he known what would follow, I am sure he would have chosen to keep shut instead!

He: So, do you mean to say your shit is not dispensable?!

Me: Well, if it makes you feel any better - you are as dispensable as my shit!! Okay?!

This time the laughter was even louder!

Presumptions

A conversation with my friend this morning had got me thinking. And I spent the better half of the day pondering over it. Anyway, at the end of it, I hate to admit it, but I realised that I have been blindly generalising people, and not looking at them as an individual; as what they really are. What hurts the most is the fact that I have been asking people I know to look at me as an individual that I am, and not compare me with someone else they have earlier known!

I guess presumptions and generalisations are the very curse of every relationship. Our assumptions about people blind us against looking at a person in his or her true self. And at the end of it, the person you think you know is actually the result of your own mind’s creation, and not who they really are!

So I suppose it is about time I stopped this. I am sure it is going to be more fun getting to know a person with a clean slate, and an unadulterated mind, and discover them for who they really are, rather than inventing them for someone you want them to be!

And before finishing off, I would like to thank my dear friend for the enlightenment! And hey, I just looked up over my head, and I can see that there is a halo hovering around!

Please Blow Horn!

You know what? I have got really weird friends! The other day I was riding with this guy, and I noticed that he was honking unnecessarily all the way. So, I asked him about it.

Me: Dude, why are you honking so much?

He: Do you have a problem with that?

Me: There is no right answer for this question now, is there?

He: Your options are a) Yes, b) No, c) Maybe and d) I do not know!

Me: What if I said ‘yes’?

He: Honk honk!

Me: Okay, what if I said ‘no’?

He: Honk honk!

Me: And what if I said ‘maybe’?

He: Honk honk!

Me: I am not bothering to ask you about the last option!

He: Honk honk!

Me: Dude, you are weird!

He: Honk honk!

Me: Ah, stop it now!

He: Honk honk!

Me: Never mind!

He: Honk honk!

We reached his place by then, and I was spared of further abuse!

Memory Loss

My short term memory these days is, not just bad; it is simply non-existent! I survive only on reminders on the cell phone! However, these reminders help only in few cases. At times I even forget which route I need to take, to go from one place to another! Sounds weird, right?!

So, when I came across this article a few days back (probably in the newspaper, or maybe some place else) that spoke about improving your memory, I felt I must make the best use of it. And after reading the previous line you can very well figure out that I have not made very good use of it!

Anyway, after all the science crap explaining the chemical reactions that take place in your head, I think it said that your memory is directly proportional to the amount of sleep you get. Now maybe that explains my situation! So, off I go to improve my memory!

Yawn!