Absinthe

Is it not wonderful to celebrate life for no reason at all? Last night, we guys did just that – celebrate for no reason at all!

Actually what happened was this friend had gotten the place to himself, as his parents were out of town. So he made sure he got the best of it by inviting us over! Now coincidentally, another friend had just gotten back from across the seas, and as a tradition as it has become now – brought back a bottle of some fine liquor! This time is was Absinthe, and just so that you know - 68% of its volume was alcohol!

What is the big deal you ask? You see, a guy who initially told that he would not be joining us for the evening, reached the place within five minutes of learning that there was going to be a bottle of Absinthe involved in the celebrations! And he did this without telling his wife, and leaving her behind at home – alone! (In case you happen to be that wife – this never happened, and I just made it up!)

Anyway, among us there was this guy – who after downing a glass of the drink thought he could gulp another shot of it – without diluting it! And that led to this conversation.

Me: Dude, after you do that if I look through your mouth – I would probably be able see all the way to your asshole!

Another guy: Yeah, and I could tell you the colour of your underwear looking through your mouth!

PS: The drink turned out to be such a flop! I guess I could finish a cup of tea quicker than these guys took to finish a drink! On a personal note, I think it would make a very good mouthwash – just gargle it around your mouth and spit it out!

Broken? No, it’s cracked!

Of late, a lot of the conversations I have had with my friends have been revolving around the Bullet and quite frankly, I have nothing nice to say about that bike.

While most of them seem to believe that they are being a part of a cult or something by owning a Bullet, I just cannot seem to understand what exactly do these guys find in an over-rated, over-designed, underperforming and uncomfortable motorbike! And just so that you know – I am making that statement after having ridden a Bullet, and a brand new one at that. You know, my bum was resonating for a good thirty minutes even after I had gotten off that bike!

Anyway, that is my version of the comfort level of the bike, and I suppose it is just me! Here is an incident I want to share, about a friend who considered owning a Bullet as his ambition! You will kind of get an idea of what goes through these guys’ heads when they want a Bullet.

Now this guy had gone to check out a used Bullet with another friend and I met them once they got back.

Me: So, how was the bike?

Bullet Guy: Dude, it was awesome!

Other Guy: Dude, the chassis was broken!

Bullet Guy: It was not broken – it was just cracked!

Other Guy: The shocks were not working!

Bullet Guy: It was not like they were not working – it was just that they were stuck!

Other Guy: The bike did not even have a battery. The guy got one from another bike and got it started!

Bullet Guy: That is for safety so that no one would steal the bike!

Other Guy: Yeah, like anyone would even want to steal that bike!

So, you get it right?! Happy riding!

The lion and his balls!

Now that I have gotten your attention, I must ask you to ignore the title of this post for the time being!

Riding around on a motorcycle in Bangalore can get quite irritating at times, even for a person who generally enjoys riding. Most of the roads are usually overcrowded and one wastes a lot of time waiting at almost every traffic signal. So the experience of getting to hear your engine roar and enjoying the wind blowing your hair is few and far between.

Anyway, when I am riding solo I am usually listening to my favourite music and it helps me ignore the crazy traffic, and more importantly - the many morons who cut me off. And of course, if there is someone riding the pillion with you – you could be kept entertained by having weird conversations with them. But on days when you can not listen to music or be entertained by your pillion rider – you have to keep yourself amused by observing the things around you. I for instance, read stuff on hoardings, or bumper stickers, watch clouds, and of late – try to read shop names written in Kannada!

Okay, so you think this is boring? Have a look at what I spotted.

And oh – you so have to get in front of this lion to see what you are missing!

Colour Me Pink!

Have I ever told you how much I love the colour pink? Well, I love it more than I love kids!

Um, now that does not come up as a very good illustration. See, when it comes to kids – I just cannot stand them! But with pink, I certainly do not have anything against it – at least not when it is being used by a girl!

Pink is a girly colour! (So is peach, and lavender! And oh, until very recently, I did not even know that peach and lavender were actually colours.)

Now if you happened to disagree with whatever I said, here is a quick test for you – imagine if the background of this page were to be pink – would you not have thought that I must be a girl?!

Okay, now that I shut you up – let me get back to where I was going! I guess all you guys would agree with me that most girls look good in pink! So the obvious logical thing for everyone to do is just let the girls have it. Alas, we do not live in a very logical world, do we? Now picture this – I once saw a guy wearing a pink Kurt Cobain t-shirt! Should Kurt Cobain be glad he shot himself or what?!

Anyhow, in the last year or so, I have been bumping into so many guys (as in literally – guys!) who used to wear pink (and peach, and lavender) that I just could not help but tell them how girly it was. Initially, this stuff was just restricted to the guys, but eventually I started pointing this to the girls too. Soon enough, I was making a comment anytime I saw pink, anywhere. And trust me – I was annoying everyone with it! I had no idea back then that I would get it back some day!

So, I had mentioned elsewhere that I had changed my job a few months ago. Now the friends from work had thrown one hell of a farewell party for me. Had I known what was in store in that party, I would have chosen not to have the farewell and would have stayed back in the old job itself!

These guys had decorated the entire place with, mostly pink balloons and pink ribbons! And then some of the extra ribbons were stuck on to my shirt! Oh, I certainly will not get into the details of everything that transpired that evening, but I should tell you this – at one stage through the party, I was standing there wearing a very pink t-shirt, covered with a lot bling and holding on to a bunch of flowers! I guess I looked like a piñata that so needed to be whacked into oblivion!

I also received a little basket filled with an assortment of many girly things that night! Here is a partial list of the contents I found in the basket:

1. two pink lollipops.
2. one pink candy that looked like a lipstick.
3. one pink bubble blower.
4. one ZooZoo key-ring. (This did not have any pink, but there is a story behind it!)
5. one pink whistle.
6. one key-ring which had a pink elephant, wearing a flowery dress and bow!

What can I say – if I were a girl, I would have been the happiest girl in the whole wide world!

And yeah, one last thing – on their way out, they stuck some pink balloons on my bike!

I do not think I can have an evening as pink as that ever again! Anyway, at the end of it, I did promise the girls that I would not comment on any of the pink they wear from that day forward! And I must say – I have been fairly successful with my word!

PS: A friend had asked me to blog about this a while ago, but I never got around doing it. This post happened today because I spotted the pink elephant key-ring lying on my table!

Thank you guys, for that memorable evening!