Take A Seat!

Flying in a low-cost airline does save you some money. But it also means you have to make a few compromises. Uh, how else would you expect the airline to be profitable?

The last time I was flying in one such airline, I noticed something peculiar. Actually, I noticed it while taking a leak, while flying in one such airline! Although I have never been inside one, I estimated that a coffin would have been a little roomier than the restroom in the aircraft! The water closet was at the farthest end, from the entrance, and the roof sloped down at the side. All this meant that I had to pee, taking a bow! Halfway through, I was wondering if it would have been easier if I had just sat down!

Speaking of which, I am reminded of something else. Now, if you know me well, you would know that there are a lot of things that can piss me off. One among them, is when people talk to me in a loo! Another is when I find a dirty urinal! Um, this is all you need to know for the moment, so I am stopping this list at it!

The other day when I entered this loo and walked towards the urinal, I was infuriated with what I saw. The guy who was there previously, probably did not notice the urinal at all, or grossly overestimated the size of his weenie! Still swearing at him and all the mess he had made, I walked over to the next urinal.

Just about then, a friend walked into the loo, and stepped up to the same urinal, I had just walked away from. He too was irritated, and stepped back. See, I am not the only one who gets pissed off seeing a dirty urinal! Anyhow, he felt it was a good idea sharing what he saw.

He: What the hell happened at that place?!

Me: Expletives! How difficult a task is it to actually pee into the urinal?! And somebody should tell them that if they cannot aim, they should just sit down on the crapper instead!

And then we laughed for about five minutes!

Okay, I rate this as the most pointless blog post written ever!

Awakening

Life as we know it – is an imperfect vision of reality. I do not recall where I had read this, but at this moment, I cannot seem to agree more.

I had always believed that one among my strongest characteristics, was my ability to stay unattached to people. And if I were to look back, I can safely say that it has been quite essentially true. Now do not get me wrong – I would never say that I did not get close to the people I interacted with. I really did. But I was always practical enough to understand that – come one day, circumstances would make it imperative, that we go our own separate ways. And when that day did arrive – I would pack my bags, walk away, and never once look back.

Like they say – when you loose somebody whom you love too much, it hurts – even to look back.

Well, there was this one time though, when I was too stunned to walk away – but at the end of it, it only made me resolve to get that characteristic stronger. And I suppose I did get it stronger. I have often been asked – how could one be so unemotional? I did not know how one could be otherwise.

But somewhere along the road, things had begun to change. I am not sure if I was that naïve not to have noticed it, or if I was just pretending to have not noticed it. Although not very different, I knew I was not the same – when I had seriously reconsidered, if I indeed needed to take up a new job offer I had received, and leave behind everything I reason.

I did take up that new job. I did leave a lot behind me. And in little time, I was back to being unemotional me.

I could not have been more wrong.

Yesterday, I did not walk away. Instead, I stood right there and watched – because I could go no further. Teary-eyed, I could see the image getting smaller as it went farther – until it finally ebbed away into the expanse.

I still stood there, and looked in the direction, hoping to catch one last glimpse. I even wiped my tears, thinking it would help me see better. But no, I could not see what I wanted to see. Neither could I stop the tears from flowing.

Everything stood still – paused. The cacophony turned to silence. And my mind was stuck. Memories streamed by – in reverse – all the way to the beginning, until I could remember no more.

And then, the noise returned. I had to snap out of it. I took a couple of steps back. I did not want to turn away yet. But then, I knew I had to walk back. And so I did. As much as it hurt – I did look back. And I will always look back.

Maybe I am not that very different after all. I am human. I am me.

Not being able to forget somebody, is not quite the same as always being able to remember somebody.

This is to let you know, that you are being missed.

Bluetooth Headset

I had intended to dedicate all the time I could spare for blogging, to get the story on my ride to the Himalayas. But then, I so have to get this done with right away.

There is this friend of mine, who carries a cell phone that is as big as the roof over your head! Initially, the jokes we cracked about its size went something like this:

Dude, my flat screen television is smaller than your phone!

Dude, if I wanted anything bigger, I would have picked myself a dining table!

But today it was a little different. We guys had met up for dinner and another friend was a little taken aback by the size of the phone.

Guy: Do you actually use that phone for talking, or do you have another phone?

Big Phone Guy: I use it, but with a Bluetooth headset.

Me: Of course you will have to use it with a headset. Else, the microphone would be so low, that the person on the other end can probably hear you fart better than they could hear you speak!

Okay, I promise I will be back with my Himalayas story soon!

Black and Blue

I have been thinking a lot lately – about human relationships. And the more I think about it, the more I am certain that we are all weird!

In this part, I am going to talk about questions. Most people ask you questions just for the sake of asking them. The answer you provide to them would not make any difference, whatsoever. Here is a little example I want to share.

Guy: Hey, you picked up a white helmet?!

Me: Yeah.

Guy: What colour is your bike?

Me: It is black.

Guy: Then why did you pick up a white helmet?!

Me: Can I ask you a question?

Guy: Sure, go ahead.

Me: What is the colour of the underwear that you are wearing?!

Guy: What?!

Me: I asked - what is the colour of the underwear that you are wearing?

Guy: Well, it is blue!

Me: Now, are your balls blue?!

Um, the blog post would have been just about fine if I stopped at this – but there is more.

Guy: Actually, they are a little black!

Chihuahua! Or is it her handbag?!

I suppose most of us would have amazing stories to tell, if we were asked to reveal the most memorable moments we have shared with each of our friends. (Um, now just in case you cannot recall any of them, then maybe it is time you start pondering about what exactly it is, that you are doing wrong!) The idea behind writing this post came about because somebody asked me as to who this person was, after having read a comment she had posted, to one of the nonsense that I had put up on Facebook. It was after explaining to them, I realised I could write a blog post.

If I can remember correctly, it has been about two odd years since I met her. At first, she seemed like a nice girl who bothered no one and spoke very little. At least I like to think of her that way, in order to make the transformation into what she has become now, a lot more dramatic! If you were to ask me about her now, well, I would say she is still nice, of course; but she beats the crap out of me and talks like a diarrhoea! (Of course, I am exaggerating it by a great deal!)

A bunch of us had met up at a friend’s place, like we always used to, back then. A few of the guys were watching something on the television in the living room, while the rest of us were playing a game of carom in the adjacent room. I must have been too engrossed in the game, that I did not notice this girl arrive. By the time I could plan my escape strategy, it was too late! Um, and there is no point in trying to explain what took place that day, that put me in the corner of the room, with this girl sitting beside me.

If you are wondering why I was trying to run away from her – well, back in those days, I was having trouble understanding if she thought I was her pet Chihuahua, or her handbag! And if you were expecting a more detailed explanation of what that meant – hopes you have!

Anyhow, after the initial exhilaration of the chase and capture had died down, she needed to keep herself further entertained. She was least bit interested in the game of carom, and the television was in the other room. And for that reason, she turned to me. I do not remember what our conversation was about exactly, but I do remember getting repeatedly whacked! After a while of requesting her to stop, well, I thought I should be a little more assertive – if you can call it that!

Me: Stop hitting me, or you are going to get it!

She: What can you possibly do?

Well, it is totally another thing, that I could not have done anything to her, but then, I could not have told her that, could I?! Moreover, I could not just have sat there doing nothing, because then, I would have had a bun on my face! So, I just held her right hand to prevent her from hitting me.

I remember somebody having told me a theory about how most women were ambidextrous. I think I can vouch for that theory! The only thing that changed was – I was now getting whacked with her left hand!

Obviously, the only thing left to do, was to hold on to her left hand too!

Me: Ha! What are you going to do now?!

Looking back, I think, I have asked a lot many stupid questions – the answers to which, I did not necessarily need to hear! I doubt, if this question can ever be knocked off from its top position!

She: Bachao!

I think the word does not do justice to what she did, because she screamed it out at the top of her shrilled voice – and it lasted a good twenty long seconds! I am not too sure if it lasted twenty seconds, or if time actually slowed down then!

The guys playing carom stopped, and they were looking at us. The guys watching the television in the next room ran into our room, and they were looking at us. I am damn sure even the neighbours were out on the streets too, wondering what had just happened!

I do not think I have been more embarrassed in my entire life! And yeah, I am also prepared to react for a cardiac arrest, if I ever have one!

PS: You had asked me to write something brilliant about you, on your birthday, two years ago. I hope this counts!

Happy birthday, lady! Shine on!

As I see it

I had planned to do it a little earlier than this, but then it is not like I am in a race. Here are a few things I found amusing in Surat.

This is the first thing I spotted when I stepped out from the train station.

Do they not build all the walls of a building simultaneously any more?!

 

Why even bother making them pay for that one?!

I think I now know why the previous store was giving that offer!

Why on earth would someone want to do this?!

This is what I got when I asked for a special lunch while I was on the train out of Surat!

And oh, I also spotted a guy who was selling human hair! I was too scared to take his picture! Another dude was selling waterproof watches, and was displaying its reliability by having them immersed in a tub of water! I was too scared to ask him if I could take his picture too!

Priceless

You could do many different things to unwind after a long and tiring day at the office, but I doubt if anything could be better than catching up with your best friend!

I was talking to my best friend last evening – and after discussing about travel, school, engineering, hyperbolic cooling towers, things in our rooms, clothes, Facebook, language, punctuation, blogging, DSLRs, girls, marriage, and about many more things I cannot seem to remember now, we had this little conversation!

She: Are you going to be 29 this year, or 30?

Me: You are older than me, so you do the math!

She: 30?

Me: Hello! 2011 – 1982 = 29!

She: Oh, so I am 29?!

Me: My God! Did you not know that?!

She: Not bad, I am still another year away from being 30!

Me: You thought you were 30 all this while?!

She: It is good in a way. I do not have to think I am old!

--

Hair colour: INR 550.

Visit to the parlour: INR 2300.

Realising you are a whole year younger: Priceless!

For all the wrong reasons

One amongst the many things I planned to do this year is travel to, at least, twenty places (that I have not been to earlier) around the country. And by February, I had already made it to eight different places. I had a plan to visit another three in March, but, unfortunately, I had to postpone it due to commitments at the workplace. So when I got this chance to visit Surat for a week, as a part of a work assignment, I was excited that I would make it to almost the halfway mark by the month of March.

I reached Surat quite late in the evening, and hired an auto-rickshaw to get me to the guesthouse I was to stay at. I must say – this was the most thrilling auto-rickshaw ride, I have ever been on! I was told that these run on CNG, but this guy had probably switched to rocket fuel or something! The acceleration had kept me pinned to the backrest of the seat for most part of the journey! To top it, we were on a road with no lights, and the headlamp on the vehicle barely managed to light up even a foot in front of it! I guess he would have gotten better visibility if he had switched to a candle instead of that headlamp! Needless to mention, there was more than one occasion during that ride, wherein I thought I would meet Saint Peter!

Given that my guesthouse was located quite away from the city, and the fact that I had to spend most of the time at work, I hardly had any time left to actually visit the city. The cricket semi-finals and finals involving India that happened in the same week did not help either. However, I did manage to make some time one evening to visit the city. I asked a few people about the places to visit and took off with a few other guys, who were at the guesthouse. At the end of it, I feel I should not have.

One thing very noticeable in Surat, is the way people drive. I have not seen a worse driving performance in any other place I have been to. People moved randomly in just about every direction, and the entire thing was as chaotic as the movement of molecules within an object! I actually lost count of the number of times I was almost run over that evening! It was for the first time I was glad I had taken life insurance!

There is not a single zebra crossing in the entire city, people there have no idea about the existence of a riding helmet, they honk every time they breathe in, and there were more people driving into a road with a ‘no entry’ sign, than the people coming out of it!

After that experience, I was only too glad that I was to catch my train to get out of the city yesterday. But the torment for me was not over yet. I walked around the entire length of the platform to find a location that did not smell like crap! And I guess even garbage land fills would contain lesser quantity of trash than the amount that lay on the train tracks! Miraculously, the train did not skid off them when it arrived!

The stop over at Bombay, and to have met Anil Kumble in the flight back home made the trip a whole lot better. In the end, I guess, I would remember Surat for quite a while – albeit, for all the wrong reasons!

Revenge of the morons!

I had met up with a couple of my wickedest friends, last Sunday. I do not recall how we ended up discussing this topic, but it suddenly occurred to them that they must do something about me blogging about them!

It is true that a majority of the posts I have written are about my friends. And one cannot blame me, for the fact that, most of these guys do things so stupid, that I have been having something or the other to write about for all these years! Anyway, the gripe these guys had was that I only write about instances where the joke was on them! Though it is not entirely true, they just believed it was so, and were hell bent on getting back!

After a little thought, they came up with an idea of creating a blog themselves, and posting instances when each one of them had shut me up!

How ingenious!

It took them only another twenty seconds to arrive at a name for the blog they would create – One Tube Light! Although I did not tell them this then, I thought the title was actually cool!

Anyhow, this post is about (the very few) instances where I have been shut up by these guys! Do note that there could be swearwords used in this post. So mom – you can skip this one!

--

This one time we guys were playing a game of Taboo. Now if you have never played it before - the objective of the game is for a guy to have his team-mates guess the word on his card, without using the word itself (duh!), or the five additional words listed on the card. And all of this is to be done in under sixty odd seconds.

It was my turn to pick the card and make these guys guess the word on it. I think the word to be guessed was anxious.

Me: Right now, I look…

And these were some of the responses I got!

Guy 1: Dumb?

Guy 2: Stupid?

Guy 3: Like a moron?

Guy 4: Like an asshole?!

Although there were more guesses, let me just stop with this! And you must know that these were guesses from my own team-mates!

--

The choice of my riding helmet has received a mixed reaction from my friends. While few of them liked it, few of them did not. Of all the conversations on it, this is the weirdest one I can remember. I just got on my bike, and put on my helmet.

Girl: Wow, your helmet looks awesome!

Me: Thank you!

Guy: That is because it covers most of his face!

--

This one day, I was riding to some place and I had a friend, riding pillion. One thing you must know is I complain about random things when I am riding, or driving – for the lack of doing anything better!

Anyhow, we came across a road hump so huge, that it could have easily qualified as a check-dam! It was a perfect object for me to complain about!

Me: Is this a dam, or a road hump?

He: It is a damn road hump!

He laughed all the way till the destination! And then, he laughed some more!

--

This happened a few weeks ago. Some of us had met up, and as usual – we ended up in a mindless argument over something stupid. I do not remember what the topic of discussion was, but after this guy finished reasoning why I should be doing something, and looked at me for approval, I just had to tell him this.

Me: Fuck you!

He did not seem like he was in a mood to give up, and pursued with his reasoning. One he had finished, I asked him this.

Me: Which part of the ‘fuck you’, did you not understand?!

He: The ‘fuck’ part! Do you mind explaining it for me?!

Me: Huh?!

--

PS: I had told these guys that I would register the name - 1tubelight, so that they would not be able to use it! The last time I checked, this page was still available, and I could have blocked it against my name. However, I chose not to do it because, One Tube Light, is probably the nicest title these wicked buggers could think of!

What’s the score?

Let me start this with a gender biased statement – most women are not as crazy as most men, when it comes to following a game of cricket! Just in case, if you happen to be die hard feminist and have a problem with the above statement – go jump!

Anyway, now that the cricket world cup has begun, almost everyone I know – the girls included, seem to be having something to say about every match that is being played. Some of the really annoying ones keep updating their Facebook status as the match progresses – ball by ball, which results in your homepage being filled only with their updates! This is the trouble with high-speed internet connections and unlimited download plans! Somebody tell them that there a websites designed specifically for this purpose (and thankfully, without their expert opinion)!

I realise I am straying a bit too much, because this post is not about those morons! This post is about my friend – who on this one day, seemed to be more interested than any of us about the cricket match that was being played. I was quite surprised, because I had never actually remembered her mentioning even a word of cricket before she had gotten married! So perhaps, it was the marriage to this guy that made her follow cricket!

Anyhow, a bunch of us had met up for lunch, and we were wondering what we could do next. Since the boys wanted to pick a few games for their PlayStations, we went into a store that sold these. This girl, and her husband entered the store a few minutes after we were there.

Like most stores these days, this too had a wide-screen television hung on one of its wall. And whenever there is a cricket match in which India is involved, it invariably is stuck on to the channel broadcasting the match. Also, you can find a few kids standing so close to the screen that you begin to wonder why did they ever bother trying to make the screen bigger!

Now, as soon as this girl saw the television, she ran towards it and was analysing the score with great interest! And that is when I thought I should tell her this!

Me: Hey, that is not the telecast of the match that is being played today! It is the game, these kids are playing on the Xbox!

Mimosa Pudica

For a guy who detests any kind of body contact – apart from a handshake, the mandatory security frisking at a few places is a nightmarish experience! While at airports, the security personnel frisking are actually aware of what they are looking for, in most other places, I am sure, the security guys do not have the remotest idea about what exactly they ought to be doing! This is about my experience at the security check, at the Akshardham temple, in Delhi.

After the little circus act the three of us were involved in before we entered the temple complex, we expected a smooth sailing, once we were actually allowed inside. In case you are not aware of what had happened, I guess you should read about it here!

Anyhow, once inside, we guys had to leave behind, our cell phones, cameras, and other electronic items we were carrying, after first removing the batteries out from them. We also had to leave our backpacks behind too. And after all this, we were asked to get in a queue.

Well, I have never been to a prison before, but I imagined that convicts would probably be brought in, like us guys in that queue! Only for them, it would be far less crowded! It was so damn crowded, I was wondering if there was going to be a rock show happening inside!

We had walked some halfway through the queue, when I felt something touch my lower back. I turned around, to check and I noticed a man, and he looked like he was at least like a foot and a half behind me. Strangely enough, there was still something touching me. When I looked down, I realised that this guy had a tummy, that was like a foot and a half ahead of him! I am not exaggerating, people – he really had his paunch that far ahead of him! Think of him, as the passenger compartment of a car, and his tummy as the bonnet!

Crap, now I have that dirty image of that guy in my mind again!

Ah, I tried to get away from him, but that happy guy, like our auto-rickshaw drivers, inched ahead the moment I stepped forward, getting along with him his enormous belly! I tired moving to the left, to the right, and just about every other possible place within that narrow walkway to move away from him, but this dude just held on!

Anyway, we guys finally reached the end of the queue, where another security guy was letting people enter in batches. It so happened that both my friends ahead of me were allowed to pass as a part of the previous batch, and I was asked to stop. And as instructed, I did stop!

I have no idea what got into this security guy, but the next second he was all over me, screaming at my face, not to get ahead! In spite of telling that nincompoop that I was not intending to step forward unless being asked to, he, with all his might, was trying his best to prevent me from getting across the line! And yeah, about that security guy – he probably had not taken a bath for a week, and had not washed his uniform for longer! And now, that moron was all over me!

Coming to think of it, the little incident I had with a gay guy while I was in Italy seemed so much pleasant, when compared to this! Nope, I am never writing a post on that!

Anyhow, it was time to let the next batch in, and after another round of security check, I was finally free to see the temple. I caught up with these guys, and we headed to the temple.

It was then we realised that the temple was closed!

Breach

Funny thing about gravity is – its persistence to get back what gets taken away from it. The sheer abundance of it, and the subtle way in which it works – makes us, kind of, oblivious to its existence. When you think about it, it is not all that difficult to work against gravity – each time you pick an object up, you are going against the force of gravity. But of course, gravity does eventually get it back, because that is what it does. Neither does it ask you to acknowledge its existence, nor does it question you when you work against it. Gravity just holds everything together, because that is what it is supposed to do. Gravity is magnanimous.

However, gravity too does have its limitations - go too fast, or to far away from it – and then gravity has no choice but to let you go. But then, you need to accelerate to something like 9.81 metres per second square to do that. To put it down simply – unless you are hell-bent on getting away from it, you pretty much cannot get away from it.

Now, would it not be a wonderful thing if something like gravity would keep us people together?

I guess, we could say that, trust, in a way, acts like gravity among us people. But trust, unfortunately, does not have the perseverance that gravity has.

Trust is selfish. Trust requires you to acknowledge its presence and reassure its being. Trust is feeble.

You do not have to accelerate a great deal, or go all that far away to break away from the holds of trust. All it takes is – one action, one lie, one comment, or one hint of betrayal. And unlike in the case of gravity, you can break the holds of trust even if you did not intend to. Trust is awfully complicated.

The only area where trust probably gets the better of gravity is – restoration. Once you get away from the holds of gravity, there is virtually no coming back. However, there is a reasonable chance that you can repair the trust you have broken. But do understand that it does involve honest determination and a lot of hard work from your side.

It is true that in some cases the broken trust may never return to where it originally was. But then again, sometimes, it is better that it does not return to where it was. In the end, all that matters is to have the bond with trust reunited.

In my personal opinion, the restoration process should only make the bond much stronger. After all, no one values trust – as much as the ones who have suffered from its violation.

Son of a Murphy!

I suppose most of you guys have heard of Six Sigma. In simple terms – Six Sigma aims at improving the quality of output of a process, by first identifying the causes of defects, and then removing them, while minimizing the sources variability, by using certain statistical methods.

Crap! Who was that guy who told me it was simple?!

Anyhow, now that I am done explaining Six Sigma, I figure I should not have done it! Instead, what I should have explained is about the Normal Distribution Curve! Okay, just forget it! The point I am trying to make is this – regardless of how controlled your process is, there is always going to be some variation. It is just normal!

Similarly, regardless of how smart a person is, he is bound to do something silly once in a while! It too, is normal!

This post is about one smart guy, who had an off day! Well, I guess you can blame it on the laws of statistics!

Anyway, it was way past sundown when this guy decided to leave office and head home. As he had to pick up some stuff on his way back, he parked his bike by the side of the road. He got the stuff he needed and got back to his bike.

He hopped on the bike, and was about to insert the key into the keyhole, while it accidentally slipped out of his grip and fell down. Actually speaking, it did not fall down. I mean, it fell, but did not go all the way down! You usually expect something falling down to hit the ground, right?! In this case it did not!

Okay, so where did the key go then? It so happened that the key was stuck somewhere in the fairing! As any sensible person would do, this guy got off the bike and started looking for the key. Did I mention that it was quite a dark night? He tried looking for it in the fairing, but could see absolutely nothing! Poor guy has his eyesight fading!

If you remember, I also mentioned that this guy was smart! He realised that his cell-phone had a LED in it. While most phones do have the option of using the LED as a torch light, his phone, unfortunately, did not! But being the smart guy that he is, he very quickly solved this problem! The only way to have the LED glowing was to switch the phone to camera mode, and depress the camera button half way down, to activate the auto-focus – which would, in turn, get the flash light to stay on, until the camera button is depressed all the way down – which would click the picture!

Do you not wish that you were as smart as him?!

Now that he had some light, he started looking for the key again. To his bad luck, the handlebar was locked with the wheel turned left, further reducing the access to the location where the key was. And while trying to manoeuvre around in the limited space, he clicked quite a few (terribly out of focus) photographs of things inside the fairing! And each time a photograph was clicked, the LED switched off – which meant he had to again go through the delicate task of keeping the camera in auto focus mode!

With persistent grit and determination – he finally managed to spot the key within the fairing! The task of retrieving it though, still remained. The key was lodged towards the bottom of the fairing, and right above the oil cooler.

The funny thing about the oil cooler is – though it is called as an oil cooler, it is freaking hot! Just imagine his situation – he spotted the key, but could not get to it because it was on top of something so hot! By now, you should have figured that he is not among the ones who would give up!

He put on his riding gloves, and got back to the task again! While the gloves insulated his hand against the heat, it certainly reduced the flexibility to reach into the tight space. But being in no mood to quit, he stuck on with the job, until he got to the key – and then yanked it out!

Bravo!

Well, this entire exercise took him some fifteen odd minutes! It did not really matter, because he finally had what he wanted! Obviously feeling proud with himself, and with a big smile on his face he hopped on the bike.

As he was about the insert the key in the key hole – you guessed it – he dropped the key again! And yeah, back in the god-damned fairing!

It was worth all the while

I was speaking with this friend a few days back, and our conversation was filled with a lot of nonsense like it always does. But somehow through all our stupidity, we got talking about what we had achieved in the year that had gone by. And as I was listing down my accomplishments, she reminded me that I had also gotten her last year!

Yes, it is true I had gotten her, and she certainly is one amongst the most amazing people I know. I even told her that I rate her as my friend of the year! (Well, so you get an idea of the nonsense we talk about!)

Anyhow, after I got off the phone with her – for whatever reason, I kept thinking about having told her that I rate her as the friend of the year. Yeah, I figure it is rather stupid of me to have done that, but then, considering some of the things I think about, this is progress! To be really honest, I did not give it much, or any, thought while I said that to her. But I reckon, if at all anyone had to be in that place – it so had to be her. Okay, enough about her for this post.

Since I had nothing worthwhile to do that evening, I decided to look back down the years, and identify the one person from each year – who had the greatest influence on me, or the one who had been there for me while I most needed it, or the person, with whom I had the best time with, or all of them!

I must say that I had always thought I had a splendid memory! I suppose I was wrong, because it did take me a great deal of time to jot down names of individuals who made that list. But at the end of it, I did feel glad that I spent all that time making one.

Now, coming to the list, though a few names did repeat for more than a year, the list did have a considerable number of names that did not repeat. It definitely was pleasing to know that a few guys have stuck on for all these years. Moreover, I was a little balled over to figure that I had been influenced by so many different individuals. And it was while I sat there looking at this list it struck to me that I had absolutely no idea what some of the people whose names were on this list were up to these days!

Frankly, it made me sick to learn that I had completely lost track of people – who at one time meant so much to me! I tried to convince myself that it was alright that I did not know what the guys from my school days were up to, but I could not make up any reasons for having lost touch with people who were so dear just some four odd years ago. And if the past trend is anything to go by, I am certain that I would soon loose a lot more people who made it to this list, in just a few years time.

It is quite natural to make new friends as we move along, but do we necessarily have to discard the old relationships that have been so fruitful all the while? So, do all friendships have to have an expiry date? Does this mean that the friendship we shared was not real? Does this mean I used these people for my benefit, and discarded them when I had no use of them? Does this make me an overtly selfish person? Am I the only one like this, or does this happen with everyone?

Well, I do not think I want to know the answers to any of these. But I do know that for what it was worth – it was worth all the while!

Murder!

Although I initially planned not to write any bit of introduction to this post, I could not stop myself from doing it! I was out on a little vacation with my friends last weekend, and stayed overnight at Belur. It is a nice little town, which is known for its twelfth century temple, built by the Hoysalas. The temple there is so magnificent, that I guess it could turn an atheist into a believer!

Anyway, this post is not about the temple – I certainly can do no justice writing about it! This post is about the other things we spotted in the town. We took a little walk through the town late in the evening, because, well, we had nothing else to do! And that is when we spotted these!

It just keeps getting better!

I guess the dude who made this probably spent a little too much time in the bar!

Anyhow, we got back to our hotel after our walk, and found these while ordering our dinner!

One block tea for me and a leman tea for the lady, please!


Um, the apple is so good, that you would probably not notice the strawberry!

Special, indeed!


It certainly looks like variety!


I think the e from the pineapple went up to the ice cream, and the a just popped up in the soda!


I do not even know what to say!


Have you never seen a papad roost before?!


I almost died when I read item 743!


And I saved the best for last – though this one was spotted in Sakleshpur!

Moron times two!

I am sure all you guys have you come across a few people, who always have something to say to you, irrespective of how unqualified they are in that subject. Unbelievably, the entire place is infested with morons like these! This post is about one such retard. Um, actually, make it two!

I was driving to some place a couple of days ago, and had this moron for company beside me. There was another guy too, but more about him later. We encountered a bad stretch of road for far too long, due to some construction work going on in the highway, and had to slow down. I think the slow down, kind of made this moron a little restless.

Moron: You do not have to slow down for these bumps, man. Your car is built for taking these!

Me: Dude, shut up!

Now, if you are wondering as to why I asked him to shut up, here is a little history about him. He once rammed his motorbike to the rear wheel of my motorbike. Obviously, I was irritated.

Me: What the crap is wrong with you?

Moron: Relax, man! Bikes over 150 cc are designed to handle things like this!

You get it, right? That is his concept of building vehicles! Somebody ought to give him a lesson on use, misuse, and abuse!

The other day, he asked me to drive his car. As I was about to adjust the central rear view mirror of his car, he almost died in panic!

Moron: What are you doing, man?! You can switch it only from the day mode to the night mode, and nothing else!

Me: Actually, you can also move it around to get a better view of the rear!

Moron: Oh? I did not know that.

Funny thing is – he has been driving his car for over a year!

And yeah, the car he drives has the radio antenna installed on the roof. This meant that the antenna got lodged on to the frame of the garage entrance, each time he took drove through it. Evidently, he was getting quite frustrated with this, and decided to break the antenna off the roof. It was only then he figured that the entire antenna could be disassembled! And this too, after almost a year of having the car!

And to finish this, here is what he did yesterday. As I was slowing down due to a traffic pile up, he opened the door – even as the car was moving.

Me: Dude, what are you doing?

Moron: Sorry, man. I thought the car was stopped.

So, I guess it is quite clear why I asked him to shut up!

Now, remember I had mentioned there was another guy with us? Unfortunately for me, he too seemed to concur with the moron.

Well, the only thing you have to know about the second guy is – he has been learning to ride a geared motorbike for the last six years!

You can only imagine my situation!