The one thing I hated most about lab tests is the viva at the end of it! I had realized the importance of answering correctly to a few random (and dumb) questions very early during my college days. It could either make you, or break you! It didn’t really matter much if you had done your practical test well; you’d still be rated as a ‘moron’ and ‘awarded’ low scores if you screwed up in your viva!
I wasn’t really bad at my subjects, but these guys who come for viva, always had made me feel so! They would always ask questions, to which there never really was any ‘right answer’! And just in case, if you ended up with a right answer, you’d be flooded with more questions, which would require you do complete a doctorate, before you could answer it! So I figured out that there wasn’t any use of studying for a viva, ‘cause you’d be screwed in any case!
My most memorable viva ever was for the CAD lab. Now CAD here didn’t mean that we used any CAD software to model a component, but instead we used that pain-in-the-rear ‘C’ program! (I guess I should mention here that wasn’t really good at ‘C’ programming!) And to add to my woes, we also had to write programs to solve mathematical equations! (I was bad at ‘C’ programming, but when it came to math, I sucked!) However, looking at the bright side, this was one lab where in I would not be penalized in spite of me doing the practical well, ‘cause there was no way in hell, that I could do it!
So here I was, staring at my question paper, pretending to understand what was asked of me to do! I had always learnt the art of ‘mugging-up’ and ‘puking’ the answers back on the paper quite well! The only problem here was that I had to understand the question first! With a little help from the guy next to me, I could just about get started! And then it was time for the viva!
I had overheard the questions that were thrown at the guy before me, and instantly figured out that it would be a day that I would remember for a long, long time! I guess he was the devil himself who’d come for the viva! I was pretty clear that there weren’t any questions on the subject that I could answer to, so decided to act a little ‘polite’ and ‘respectful’, so that he’d give me a few extra marks!
And then, my name’s called! This is it, my best (rather, worst!) viva ever! I stood by the door of his cabin, and very politely (and faking it, of course!) asked
“May I come in, sir?”
He looked up to me, rather surprised, and in a soft tone said
“Come in and take a seat”
Wow! He wasn’t shouting! So in I go, pull up a chair, thinking to myself that I’ve managed to calm the devil enough for now! As I sat down, I said
“Thank you, sir”
If I had any idea about the questions he had in store for me, I would never have told him that! He asked me to for my question paper, read it. The following describes our conversation.
Devil: What are you asked to find out?
I: To solve the given equation, sir.
Devil: Is that what you are asked to do?
I: (Confused) Ah, I suppose so, sir.
Devil: (Throwing the question paper at me) Is that what is asked for in this?
I: (Pick up the paper and read the question) Ah, to find out the roots of the given equation by using Simpson’s 1/3rd rule, sir.
Devil: So, what is the difference between solving the equation and find the roots?
I: (Pretending like thinking) Ah, I don’t know, sir.
Devil: Okay, why is Simpson’s 3/8th rule better than Simpson’s 1/3rd rule?
I: Ah, I don’t know, sir.
Devil: Why is Newton Ralphson’s method better than Simpson’s 3/8th rule?
I: Ah, I don’t know, sir.
Devil: What were you doing yesterday, playing cricket?
I: (I was like “what kind of a question is that?”) No, sir.
Devil: What is the maximum number of sides you can give to a polygon in AutoCAD?
I: (Thinking, “who cares?”) Ah, I don’t know, sir.
Devil: What is the limiting size of the matrix for a rectangular array in AutoCAD?
I: (Thinking “I’m so screwed”) Ah, I don’t know, sir.
At this point I decided that it wasn’t worth an effort to understand the questions! And my only answer to all the balance questions was “I don’t know, sir”! I finally decided to end this crap for good. And I did it by not answering, to what would be my final question!
Looking at my silence, he finally said “Let me guess, I don’t know?” with a sarcastic smile!
I just nodded my head in agreement. (With a sigh of relief, knowing it was all over!)
He then screamed “GET OUT!”
I just grabbed my paper from the desk and walked out, thinking to myself “this would not have been very different, even if I had actually studied for the viva”!
I wasn’t really bad at my subjects, but these guys who come for viva, always had made me feel so! They would always ask questions, to which there never really was any ‘right answer’! And just in case, if you ended up with a right answer, you’d be flooded with more questions, which would require you do complete a doctorate, before you could answer it! So I figured out that there wasn’t any use of studying for a viva, ‘cause you’d be screwed in any case!
My most memorable viva ever was for the CAD lab. Now CAD here didn’t mean that we used any CAD software to model a component, but instead we used that pain-in-the-rear ‘C’ program! (I guess I should mention here that wasn’t really good at ‘C’ programming!) And to add to my woes, we also had to write programs to solve mathematical equations! (I was bad at ‘C’ programming, but when it came to math, I sucked!) However, looking at the bright side, this was one lab where in I would not be penalized in spite of me doing the practical well, ‘cause there was no way in hell, that I could do it!
So here I was, staring at my question paper, pretending to understand what was asked of me to do! I had always learnt the art of ‘mugging-up’ and ‘puking’ the answers back on the paper quite well! The only problem here was that I had to understand the question first! With a little help from the guy next to me, I could just about get started! And then it was time for the viva!
I had overheard the questions that were thrown at the guy before me, and instantly figured out that it would be a day that I would remember for a long, long time! I guess he was the devil himself who’d come for the viva! I was pretty clear that there weren’t any questions on the subject that I could answer to, so decided to act a little ‘polite’ and ‘respectful’, so that he’d give me a few extra marks!
And then, my name’s called! This is it, my best (rather, worst!) viva ever! I stood by the door of his cabin, and very politely (and faking it, of course!) asked
“May I come in, sir?”
He looked up to me, rather surprised, and in a soft tone said
“Come in and take a seat”
Wow! He wasn’t shouting! So in I go, pull up a chair, thinking to myself that I’ve managed to calm the devil enough for now! As I sat down, I said
“Thank you, sir”
If I had any idea about the questions he had in store for me, I would never have told him that! He asked me to for my question paper, read it. The following describes our conversation.
Devil: What are you asked to find out?
I: To solve the given equation, sir.
Devil: Is that what you are asked to do?
I: (Confused) Ah, I suppose so, sir.
Devil: (Throwing the question paper at me) Is that what is asked for in this?
I: (Pick up the paper and read the question) Ah, to find out the roots of the given equation by using Simpson’s 1/3rd rule, sir.
Devil: So, what is the difference between solving the equation and find the roots?
I: (Pretending like thinking) Ah, I don’t know, sir.
Devil: Okay, why is Simpson’s 3/8th rule better than Simpson’s 1/3rd rule?
I: Ah, I don’t know, sir.
Devil: Why is Newton Ralphson’s method better than Simpson’s 3/8th rule?
I: Ah, I don’t know, sir.
Devil: What were you doing yesterday, playing cricket?
I: (I was like “what kind of a question is that?”) No, sir.
Devil: What is the maximum number of sides you can give to a polygon in AutoCAD?
I: (Thinking, “who cares?”) Ah, I don’t know, sir.
Devil: What is the limiting size of the matrix for a rectangular array in AutoCAD?
I: (Thinking “I’m so screwed”) Ah, I don’t know, sir.
At this point I decided that it wasn’t worth an effort to understand the questions! And my only answer to all the balance questions was “I don’t know, sir”! I finally decided to end this crap for good. And I did it by not answering, to what would be my final question!
Looking at my silence, he finally said “Let me guess, I don’t know?” with a sarcastic smile!
I just nodded my head in agreement. (With a sigh of relief, knowing it was all over!)
He then screamed “GET OUT!”
I just grabbed my paper from the desk and walked out, thinking to myself “this would not have been very different, even if I had actually studied for the viva”!
