I am getting married!

For all you morons who are getting ideas – you are going to be very disappointed!

I guess most of us know that when a girl meets another of her girl friends after an amazingly long time, the third person (unlucky enough) to be with them kind of gets redundant - and more so if you are a guy!

And that is exactly what happened with me this one day. A bunch of us had gone to visit a friend at her place. After a while, most of the guys left because something came up, and it so happened that I was stuck between these two girls. As expected, they started catching up on all the things they had missed, and it was almost like I was watching a Hindi show on the television!

At first, it was kind of interesting listening to them, but soon enough I got bored of it! I looked around her place to find something that could keep me occupied. Well, I spent some time looking for patterns on the wall painting, then for patterns in the floor and eventually I kept myself entertained by trying to focus on amoebas in my eye!

I do not really know how much time had passed before they realised I too was sitting amongst them. I think they figured by the very blank look on my face that I had no clue as to what was happening in that room! So, one of the girls got me to speed by saying:

Girl 1: She is getting married!

Me: Wow, Congratulations!

Girl 2: Thanks!

Anyway, the conversation continued and I was a little more active this time around - though I still kept wandering out of it every now and then, as I was so intrigued with these amoebas in my eye!

Anyhow, it was time to leave and I had to drop this soon to be married girl back to her place. Here is a part of the conversation that we had while getting back home:

Me: So, you are getting married, huh?

She: Yeah.

Me: How soon are you getting married?

She: It is not decided yet.

Me: Okay, so what is this guy doing?

She: Oh, the guy is not decided yet either!

Me: Huh?! You say you are getting married and you do not know when, or to whom!

She: It is like that at the moment!

Me: You know, most people who are getting married do know this part of the information!

She: Yeah, but it is just a plan as of now!

Me: Oh, in that case – I am getting married too!

Medley

I initially started off this post with an intention of writing about some seriously crappy intellectual stuff, but then I just could not get the thoughts from that brain-dead head of mine, into words! (God bless me for that!) Now that I have lost the topic, I guess I should do the next best thing – list down little stupid things that have happened eons ago!

Scene I

The guy, (I’ll just call him D) who used to teach me to play the guitar, has got one amazing place! It is more like a clubhouse, than a place – always bubbling with activity, and housing like a million people! I guess at times, D himself would not know as to who is in his house! Occasionally however, you do find it in peace too!

On one such quiet day when I went to class, a guy - whom I did not recognise, opened the door for me and I went upstairs to the room where we usually practise. There were three other guys, apart from D, in that room. D was kind of surprised that I managed to get in there and asked:

D: Hey! Who opened the door for you?!

(See, I told you he does not know who is in his house!)

Me: There was a guy downstairs.

D: Did he have short hair?

Me: Uh, I do not really know, but he had a goatee!

The moment I said that, everyone dropped their guitars and stared at me like I said something stupid!

It was then I realised that everyone in that room, me included, had a goatee!

Indeed, it was very stupid!

Scene II

We guys had been to Delhi in November last year, and we found that most auto-rickshaw guys demanded more cash, and refused to travel for the metered fare. Obviously irritated with this fact, I asked one of the guys:

(Excuse my Hindi, please!)

Me: Aap yeh meter show ke liye laga raka hai kya? Meter pe kyu nahi chalata hai?

He: Doctor ne mana kiya hai!

I had to shut up, thanks to my friends, who were laughing at me like totally drunk nincompoops, who have been inhaling nitrous oxide all their lives!

Scene III

This one day, I got back home from office and there was a power cut. I was home alone, and had absolutely nothing useful that I could do. So I took my dogs, Dog and Phoebie to the terrace and I played with them, till they were too bored to continue playing with me! (In case you do not know yet, I have named my dog as Dog!)

So I came back downstairs and opened up a bottle of Sprite. It then occurred to me that I could kill some time by giving generous amounts of Sprite to my dogs, and then watch them burp! Ha, am I good or what?! Phoebie, unfortunately, did not seem to want any of it, so Dog got to have her share too!

You know, I waited by Dog for so long to watch him burp. In fact, I sat by him, even after the power came back! He was just staring back at me, probably wondering if I needed some help or something! I got up only after my mum came home and chased me out from Dog’s place!

Damn! What a waste of time!