What not to do in an interview!

A few weeks back, I was nominated (hurray!) from my office to appear for a long term management program. What it meant was that my office would sponsor my MBA classes - provided I clear the entrance test conducted by the college.

Now people who know me know that I am not so much of a ‘management’ guy. I would rather do something technical, than any of the management crap! Anyway, since I got this opportunity, I thought that it was worth a shot!

So, here I was in Mumbai giving my interview. It started of with me giving a brief introduction about myself, my work and responsibilities and stuff. And then things got a little interesting! I guess the interviewer sensed that I doing a management course would be injustice! I did try my best to convince him that I needed this management degree to lead the industry of tomorrow! And then he asked me this!

He: What do you think your general manager does in his office?

Me: Well, he would be thinking about profit and loss, people utilisation, how much work is currently in ‘work-in-progress’, outstanding, order backlogs, trying to meet the budget, going through various presentations and excel sheets and all the boring stuff!

He: And you want to do that?!

Me: Oh?!

He just smiled, and I knew it was the last nail in my MBA class’ coffin!

I, obviously, flunked the test!

Speaking of Irony

I so wanted to watch the movie ‘The Bourne Ultimatum’ when it released last year, but since I was reading the novel itself at that time, I felt that I should probably finish reading it before I watch the movie. That way, I could enjoy the movie more! Not only that, I had stopped myself from watching ‘The Bourne Identity’ and ‘The Bourne Supremacy’ too. Although these movies released much earlier, I wanted to finish reading the entire series before I watched any of the movies! Okay, I agree I am stupid!

Now that I have finally finished reading all of the three novels, I borrowed the DVD from a friend which contained all the three movies! One hour into the first movie (Identity), I realized that the plot was no where close to the book! These guys forgot to include ‘Carlos’ and they even killed ‘Conklin’! I mean, what the crap?! Carlos is the most important character in the novel after Bourne and without Conklin, Bourne would not have gotten very far!

While watching the second movie (Supremacy), I figured out that I should not try to compare it with the book! These guys killed poor Marie too! In the book, Marie goes on to have two kids with Bourne. The plot in the movie has got absolutely no connection whatsoever with the book! And I am not even going to say anything about the plot of the last movie! Hopeless!

Nevertheless, I did enjoy the movies. They were simply awesome! It’s just that I feel like a complete idiot now, for having waited so long to watch these movies!

PS: You should read the novels – they are much better than the movies!

Skeletons in the closet!

Aha!

Am I spilling the beans here? May be, or may be not! It is just that I spent a lot of time thinking what should be the appropriate title for this post, and ended up with this. And if I have spent all that time thinking, you might as well read all this! It does have something to do with a closet though! I started the post with some intention, but it eventually ended up like this! Initially, I wanted to put in theses lines in the very end as a PS, but now it is right up here! So, here we go!

My wardrobe was in a total mess. It usually is in such a state, but I can somehow get to the stuff that I am looking for, in no time. It is only when I can not find what I want within a couple of minutes, that I plan to clean it up! And today was one such day!

Now, apart from clothes, you will find various other crap in my wardrobe. I keep a few of my books, photo albums, audio cassettes, boxes of mobile phone and jig-saw puzzles, and a lot of other things that are difficult to explain!

Anyway, in the process of rearranging things, I found this scribble pad that I had carried to Italy. Isn’t it nice when you come across some of your old stuff, when you are not even looking for it in the first place?! (Well, in my case, it was not all that old, but it still was nice!) I had initially used the pad for noting down my work stuff, but I had also scribbled many things about the various places that I had visited, and my experiences! Back then, I had planned to write a little something about all those places, and a few funny incidents that had happened and stuff like it. But after returning home, I strangely seemed to have forgotten about it. (May be I could blog about them in the coming days!)

As I started flipping the pages, I came across the notes that I had prepared to conduct a training class on ANSYS (an FEA software) for two of the Italian engineers. Now, when it comes to training or teaching someone something, I am simply pathetic! In fact, I would rather go jail, than get into a teaching profession! I prepared the notes this time for the sole reason that the two engineers, who would be my students, were absolutely gorgeous babes! And here is a thought - just in case my students are going to be that beautiful, then I may give teaching a shot!

Going though the notes, I felt a bit nostalgic, and I wished I was back in Italy!

Flashback to the training session – I tried to look all-professional with all the teaching notes and the practice problems that I had made myself! And once I started with the class, the girls seemed like they were deeply engrossed in my teaching! The only trouble I had was in deciding whether to concentrate on the monitor, the first girl or the second girl! (Actually, I just made up the monitor thing right now, so that this does not look too bad!)

Moving on, at the end of the class, as all trainers do, I asked the girls if they had any questions. They did ask a few questions that had relevance to the class. And then one of them asked me this:

She: Can I change the background colour from black to something else?

Anyone who has worked on ANSYS will know that the background colour is the last thing that gets priority!

Me: Uh?! Yeah, I guess you can. But why would you want to change it?!

She: Black looks so boring!

Me: Yeah okay! Let me see where I can change it!

Well, I was thinking of asking her if she would rather have the background in pink, with bunnies, and teddy bears and flowers and stars and butterflies, and rainbows, and all the girly things that would make it look like a fairyland! But then I figured out that it would be better off if I just shut up! And yeah, I did figure out how to change the background colour and told her that!

And now coming to the effectiveness of my training – one girl never opened ANSYS, and the other (the background colour one!) started using ANSYS WorkBench (An easier and more convenient version of ANSYS). A few weeks later, the client arranged for a professional training for them!

Ironic

I guess I was in my final year of engineering, when I first had this thought of taking up a job, only in an Indian organization. Call it patriotism or stupidity, whichever one you prefer! And when I actually got placed in one such place, I felt like my prayers have been answered! In fact, I had chosen not to attend an interview with a US based MNC that was paying almost twice as much, just because, well, it was not an Indian corporation!

Anyway, after my initial orientation, I was placed in the Construction and Mining unit, wherein a large part of my job involved understanding and studying technology developed by Japanese and used in their machines!

About a year later, I was moved to the Hydraulics unit, wherein my job involved me to design and work on equipments for the mining industry using German made pumps and controls, and French made motors!

In December 2006, I was moved to the Engineering Services group. I now work for clients in the Mining and Earthmoving industry, primarily based in Europe and the United States!

So much for me wanting to work for an Indian company!